i want it so bad

I'm going to win this.
If not today, then tomorrow.
and if not tomorrow, the day after.. cause that's when the contest ends.

♥

so what if finals week is two weeks away...

I decided to make some sweet ass ornaments.

two words..

Monkey Pig


♥

i don't know what it is

but i can't seem to turn my brain off, ever..

and i think of bad things.... a lot..

i used to not mind it but lately it's been
driving
me
crazy.

it goes beyond worrying i think..

it's more like preparing myself for the worst..

of everything.. all the time.

i really don't like to think like that..
i'm not an unhappy person
i just can't help it..

i think i was oblivious to it for a while
but now when i catch myself doing it
i
stop
it.

it's weird to have to make yourself stop thinking
because you're not thinking about anything real
none of the bad things i think about have ever
happened.

i just think about them.
'what ifs'
i guess.

i'm sick of it.

i don't want to play anymore.

no more.
i'm done.
i'm not letting those things get in the way of my life.

♥ coffee and taquitos ♥

deep fried turkey and too much wine, good Thanksgiving.
I haven't done anything on this in a while, just been busy I guess.
School's almost done for the semester, which is weird.. I don't really feel like I've learned as much as I should have, not to say I haven't learned anything. My drawing abilities have definitely improved. I think I've going to take another drawing class next semester so I don't loose it again like I did after high school. This time it needs to stick.

fuck yea. creepy sculptures.

in 20 years this is going to be the most amazing coral reef ever.

ugh, i don't want to do anything today and i have to work at 3..
and it probably is going to be slow cause everyone has leftovers and are doing all their shopping this morning, not this evening.. lame.


i wonder if it lived or not.... or if it did if he could walk on all eight feet.. like those remote controlled cars that have wheels on the top and bottom so that it never stops rolling even though it flips over... yep, that's what i picture happening..

poor kid. thought it was a lollipop..

Totally been a movie junkie this year. Here's what new ones I've seen.... so far :)

My Bloody Valentine
Notorious
Paul Blart: Mall Cop
The Uninvited
He's Just not that Into You
Friday the 13th
Watchmen
Sunshine Cleaning
I Love You, Man
Martyrs
The Haunting in Connecticut
Observe and Report
17 Again
Crank High Voltage
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Star Trek
Terminator Salvation
Drag Me to Hell
Up
Away We Go
The Hangover
Food Inc.
Year One
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Bruno
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Funny People
District 9
Inglourious Basterds
World's Greatest Dad
9
Pandorum
Paranormal Activity
Zombieland

And these are the movies that I plan on seeing...


Where the Wild Things Are
Whip It
Saw VI
Ong Bak 2: The Beginning
The Men Who Stare at Goats
The Fantastic Mr. Fox
Ninja Assassin
The Road
Sherlock Holmes

Yep, I think that's about it.
How many have you seen?
;)

one more thing..

I'm joining the Hellgate RollerGirls.
.....
that's roller derby for those that don't know.
fuck yea.


p.s. I need suggestions for my derby name!!

assholes...

I've determined that people cannot be trusted, no matter what you think.
People are assholes and always will be.

Someone (dickfacecocksuckercuntwhoremotherfucker) stole my bike on Monday.
The bike that I put close to, if not more than, $500 into.
The bike that was one wheel and one seat away from being exactly what I wanted.
The bike that is, technically, my only mode of transportation other than my feet.
The bike that was fun to ride..

you fucking fuck.
you better not be around when I find it, for your own sake.
I have never been so pissed off in my entire life.
or as ready to fuck something up.

i like

pretty sweet video..



Alex Pardee, you have good taste.

The Opening

The night when great I have to say!
All that worrying paid off in the end..
Here's a few pictures from the night.
Enjoy.

I hate this part...

So, it's all up in the shop.

I keep having these insecure moments where I just can't help but think no one will like any of the things I made for this art show. *sigh* I like most of the stuff I made, some more than others.. way more. They say hindsight is always the clearest and that couldn't be more true with me right now. I wish I had done more just abstract color things, instead of trying to get semi-technical with what I was making. I have more fun making the backgrounds of the art i put up than the picture in the middle, i hope it's not too obvious.


Oh well, next time i will listen to my heart and paint whatever feels right.
i think that just because this was my first show i felt that everything needed to be great and show some skill, whether i have it or not.. i kind of lost sight of the fact that art is as simple as an expression of one's thoughts and feelings and ideas in a moment..

I'm not saying everything i did was shit and that i hate all of it.
i'm just nervous to have people other than close friends see it for the first time.
i'm not good with criticism.
i'm working on it.
Al told me today that i have to learn to take it better in order to be a better artist.
he couldn't be more right.

i just want people to like it is all, like really like it... not just say they like it when they really don't.


I guess that's part of it though, not everyone will like it, and that's fine. I just want enough people to genuinely like it so i can feel good about what it is i'm trying to do with my life.
bleh.

"it will all be fine tomorrow"
that's what i keep telling myself.
i hate not feeling confident.
i've been feeling really good about myself lately,
but then again i don't normally put so much of myself out there for the world to see.
or judge...


now's as good a time as any eh?
time to share some Sarah with the world.
I'm gettin up in that asshole and spray painting "SARAH WUZ HERE BITCHES!"
yea, that's right.

umm..

I have an art show coming up on the seventh...
and I just finished painting the backgrounds/edges for all the pieces.

*now comes the hard part*

drawing up the rest of it and putting them all together...






Bring it on.
p.s. I'll post some 'in progress' pieces as soon as I feel like taking the camera out and snapping a few ;)

seriously people

If i could have one wish right now it would be to have an entire week.. make that month.. where not one single person would comment me on my tattoos.

I mean really... is it *that* shocking to see a girl with a full sleeve? I think to some people it has to be.. either that or they've never ventured 30 miles outside their podunk middle of bum-fuck nowhere town to see a diverse community that does not all where overalls and straw hats and think a tweety bird tattoo is the shit.

Today we went shopping. every single place we went into at least one person said something about my tattoos.. asking if they're real, telling me they're very pretty, asking if they hurt, or just plain staring for 10 minutes like i'm not a fucking person that can see them staring!

seriously, i'm sick of it.


i didn't get them so people could talk to me about them. i got them (and will continue to get them) because i like them. because i think they're beautiful. because they're something that can remind me of a time in my life or a person i care about or something i truly adore..

not so you can oggle me and feel it's ok to touch them. THEY'RE FUCKING SKIN YOU IDIOT! touch your own arm, i bet it feels the same.. unless you're a man and in that case the only difference is that yours is hairier.

i forget that i have them sometimes because i'm so used to them at this point... i just wish other people would forget too.

uhhh...

so, found this picture and thought it was kind of funny while it's also super bad for that guy. I then decided to look up 'snake bite' on Google images..

.
.
.
.
holy fuck I never want to get bit by a snake.

I suggest never doing what I just did.

River

+

Dogs

+

Friends

+

BBQ

+

Badminton

+

Bonfire

+

Beer

=

A great Fourth of July


*and this is my new favorite picture*

HELP!

I need inspiration... and fast!!

Give me ideas, pictures, crazy weird articles... anything!

I have a shit load to paint and my mind is drawing a blank!

GAH!!




p.s. relaxation tips also welcomed
:)

You know it's time to...

clean out your purse when this is what is in it...


That's:
-Bike lock
-Sunglasses
-Head lamp
-Keys
- Random change
-Lighter
-Avon lipstick in Plumtastic
- Avon chapstick.. because my Burts Bees is lost :(
- Orange mini Sharpee
- Pink pen
- Black Sharpee
-Movie stubs to UP 3D and The Hangover
- Book for writin' in
- Various receipts/paystubs
-Pair of black gloves
- Crown Royal bag recently emptied of coins
- Camel lights
- Tissues
- 28 old handbills for paintin' on
- Matches
- Wallet
- Paper towel cardboard with a Queers poster inside


Damn.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

is it weird that i like it?

I had another weird dream last night.. this one was about how i somehow cut into the last three fingers of my left had almost all the way around each at the base. as the day or whatever went on the cuts wound themselves all the way around my fingers and the skin on them became super loose and almost flappy.. like you could (and in the dream i did) peel back the skin from the muscle at those points. my ring finger also developed this bulbous lump around the second knuckle that kept getting bigger and more painful as time went on.. at this point i though tit maybe necessary to go to the hospital and gets stitches... the skin kept getting looser however and i found myself staring at it and playing with it almost.. i was so intrigued by what was happening to my hand that i almost didn't want to get it fixed. then the hospital blew up or something... i can't really remember.

slackers don't win

so i just realized that i was one of 10 random people who won these "Pair of Twos" playing cards by Brandi Milne...

but i realized 5 days too late and my prize was defaulted to someone else.
this makes me sad..

the one time i win something, figures...

thought about it..

yea, fuck being a princess.

I'd rather be a goddess.

: )

my hair's *almost* as long as Rapunzel's...

I was not the little girl that wore pink every day and had dreams of growing up to marry prince charming with the ruffles around his collar... i played with barbies and envied my neighbors who had just about every accessory or barbie jeep imaginable, but i walked around in mud boots through 5 inches of cow shit to go play with kittens, not exactly a princess upbringing... this isn't about knocking my childhood because mine wasn't bad, i had acres to roam and sticks to play with, this is about wanting to be a princess. I think girls that need everything done for them are stupid, that whine are annoying, and that use their looks in the wrong way are devious.. but they somehow get treated like princesses, undeserving probably, but i want that. I want to be told i'm beautiful just because i am. i want to be waited on hand and foot, instead of being the hand and the foot. i'm worth it, i know it. i honestly probably couldn't take it for long because i'm more of a giver than a taker but fuck... i need some too...










slumpdog blahionaire

reverse retail therapy?

so, i've come to realize that not only is my job a great place to work, it also doubles as therapy sometimes. I'm sure anyone can relate to this, but I came in to work today just about having an anxiety attack due to a large number of things that I won't go into, but needless to say the combination almost put me over the top... anyways, my job (for those that don't know) is very in your face. my customers are literally 3 feet from my face the entire time i'm serving them, which is a great slap in the face. you basically have to get your thumb out of your ass and leave your baggage at the door when you step on that line. i don't need strangers asking me what's wrong, so it's better just to buck up and put that shit behind me for the moment. in turn that calms me down and, with time, everythings ok. that in your face mentality of the place is actually a good thing for once ha!

dreams dreams dreams

So I had this dream last night where I was in the new Victoria's Secret that they were still building one wall of. This little girl runs past us screaming that she found a pile of spiders so we go over and there's this huge pile of spiders and termites. Christina grabs this bug spray stuff that's only for the termites but will supposedly attract the spiders and kill them too. I take the bottle of it after she leaves and go around the back side of the wall to track down all of them and spray them. My foot starts to hurt like i'm being bitten. so naturally I freak out and almost spray my foot expecting to see a spider on it but there's only a small scabish thing. I ignore it until it hurts worse like I'm really being bit this time. Nothing. The scab thing is bigger so I look closer at it. I can see it spreading and opening slightly. something moves underneath it and starts to poke through, it's a little lady bug like thing that's a snot yellow color.. i start screaming as it crawls out of the hole and over my toes. the hole keeps getting bigger and bubbly as another bug thing crawls out of my foot. THe bubble gets huge like an egg sack and is throbbing and moving like crazy now. Now instead of a bug coming out a tentacle slowly pops out and unfurls... 5 more tentacles pop out of my foot and i just sit there in shock that there is a freaking half octopus that is now a part of my body....

i also had a dream where i was a contestant/prisoner and the test to get in/out of the contest was to allow a cockatooish bird sit on your head and scream in your face..

I can has robotz?

Do you think he's fully water proof? because I want him to do my dishes and clean my bathroom for me




and this one can turn things on for me!




this one can learn to play my favorite song...




and this... could be my pet! (my other pet that is..)

excite!

sooooo..... even though I'm broke as a joke, I think I'm buying this tomorrow

:)

...............................

i'm sick and have a ton of drawing to do.... awesome.

holy shit

Finals week is next week.. technically I only have one final, a test, and a four piece final drawing.. not too bad really, it's just crazy how fast this semester went by! I remember last year when my co-workers said the same thing except I didn't get it then. fuck, 2009 is almost half over already!

On a good note though my drawing is coming along quite nicely if I do say so myself!
all I will say is an octopus, a toilet, and slug people...
...in my bathroom.

I've been having a million crazy dreams lately! I love it because they're always so vivid and clear to me.. the meaning isn't always so clear, but the images are, as are the feelings.. sometimes they're almost too much and I wake up completely freaked out/touched/angry/sad/horrified...

He uses a chopstick!

nope, couldn't do it

There was recently a Living Statue contest in Russia... yea, those people that pretend to be statues until you walk past them and they move and freak the fuck out of you.... a bunch of them all in one place! pretty cool...

You say I'm beautiful like it's a bad thing..

This video is sweet... but Swedes are strange... That's probably why I like it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30fSrn7MlmU

why!

I swear this asshole is stalking me... I can't go shopping anywhere, not for food, clothes, anything, or anywhere without hearing "In the Air Tonight" or "Easy Lover"...

Fuck you Phil. your music sucks.

this one's for you!

hehe... now that I know you read my blog I can slip one of these in every now and then ; )

: )

My sister went back up to Polson yesterday after staying with me for a few days. After she left and I went about my shit I realized how much I miss having her around.. People grow up and grow apart, that's just what happens, but when someone you care about just isn't close enough to hang out with it means more when you actually get the chance. It will be good when she moves up here next year. : )

Spring break is almost over and it's depressing. As usual I didn't do half the things I planned on doing with my time... oh well. I barely did anything all week and that felt pretty good!

I had another crazy dream last night.. I don't remember a whole lot of it, I just remember I was on a snowy bank next to a crazy huge bridge and I was fighting a big burly man and his daughter? girlfriend? There were weapons everywhere and it was kill or be killed. The dude was out for blood! after fighting and throwing knives and sharp things at each other, I think I had almost killed the guy, a SWAT team flanked the shoreline from the water and all I remember was thinking that even if I'm going to prison at least this shit is over... weird dream. kind of scary because of how real it was.

Blue Planet blew my mind... especially the deep sea creatures. They all glow!!! it's fucking awesome... more on them later...

.......

last night = shit show.

dunk sarah + people speaking for dunk sarah + lapdance = verrryy pissed off drunk sarah.

enough said.

(that's how my head felt last night, full of black masses and angry owls)

time to wake up?

just made some coffee and ate some cereal. It's snowing like a motherfucker outside, AGAIN... come on weather, it's April, bring on the rain already!! I think I'm going to paint something for my sister today, hopefully I'll finish it today too...
I found this yesterday, told some people at work about it, most of them didn't seem to care but I though it was hilarious/strange/creepy... mostly creepy.

Yea blog!

soo, just decided to do the whole blogging thing.. we'll see how often I actually post things ha!