i don't know what it is

but i can't seem to turn my brain off, ever..

and i think of bad things.... a lot..

i used to not mind it but lately it's been
driving
me
crazy.

it goes beyond worrying i think..

it's more like preparing myself for the worst..

of everything.. all the time.

i really don't like to think like that..
i'm not an unhappy person
i just can't help it..

i think i was oblivious to it for a while
but now when i catch myself doing it
i
stop
it.

it's weird to have to make yourself stop thinking
because you're not thinking about anything real
none of the bad things i think about have ever
happened.

i just think about them.
'what ifs'
i guess.

i'm sick of it.

i don't want to play anymore.

no more.
i'm done.
i'm not letting those things get in the way of my life.